A few months back, I had a really really bad experience at a restaurant with a waitress that really needed to find other work. So I made huge deal about it. I ended up getting the bill comp’d for me and my brother. So as we were leaving, I was feeling rather proud of myself, my brother says “You think they’ll fire her”. My response – “I hope so, she’s useless.” So my brother stops, and says – “suppose she just found out that she has cancer and is going to die in 6 months.” Of course, I got his point right away, but I still felt the need to argue about whether she would be at work if she had just received that type of news.

Really though, we never know what kind of day a person is having. Some people are fairly good at compartmentalizing their feelings, others are not. In either case, life doesn’t stop. Maybe your waitress found her husband in bed with her best friend when she came back, because left her name tag at home. She has to be at work because now she is trying to figure out how she will support her two kids with the 4.25 p/hr she makes at the restaurant. So given all that is going through her mind – is it really such a big deal that she forgot your extra Ranch dressing? No not really.

My point? Read the title.

Why is that? Everyone tells us not to. It is a constant itch, I guess. I am, of course, speaking in a more metaphorical sense, then about an actual scab. When ever we move past a stage in our life or choose to leave a part of our life, there seems to be a need to tear that part down. Maybe it is a sense of self-validation. “I am better person now, because I broke free from this “. Whether we leave a job, or a group of friends, or a religious organization, it seems that we have to tear that group down, to make our decision to leave more noble, or even just to convince ourselves we made the right choice.

That’s not necessarily a bad thing, I guess, as long as no one gets hurt. (cliche, but whatever) The problem though, is that someone always gets hurt. Sometimes we begin to feel so noble about our decisions that we feel it is our duty to make sure that everyone knows how horrible something is so that they too can escape. In some cases, that is a definite responsibility, in other cases, it is a selfish and arrogant thing to do, and in most cases, it just doesn’t matter. As adults we have the right to make choices for ourselves, good – bad – indifferent. While you are not required to accept the choices that we make, you are required to respect them, just as others are required to respect yours, even if acceptance is too difficult.

I guess what I am getting at, is that if your going to leave, then leave. Good luck & God bless. Now let it go. If you are in any situation that you can’t handle, get out! Whether that be a job, a religion, a relationship, whatever. After you have gone though, don’t continue to dredge up the feelings on a daily basis so that there is nothing left but hatred and bitterness. If you are going to remember anything about the past focus on the positives. Take the good from any situation and cling to that.

People claim that our experiences shape us and determine the type of person that we will be. I wholeheartedly agree with that, BUT – we can take what we want from every experience – positive or negative, and that is what will mold us.

Personally, I can accept any decision someone makes. Freewill is what defines us as more then the animal creation.

This is just my opinion though, take it for what you will.

have been giving thought to purchasing a home. We have a great situation right now with the house that we rent but, as my dad continually beat into my head this last week, you need a house to gain some financial stability. I guess. I think the bigger reason is that I feel that I am limited as far as my options go if I want to go in different directions (i.e. kids, credit, savings).

I have a few options to consider when purchasing a home. Condo/Townhouse, Single Family, Duplex, etc. However, with three dogs, the condo is pretty much out of the question. My brother and I have discussed the possibility of getting a duplex, but I think I am pulling farther and farther away from that option as time goes on. So that leaves a SFR. Now, the problem lies in the fact that housing in SoCal is EXTREMELY expensive. For instance, I live in Artesia. This is just about 1 step above a ghetto, still a nominal 2/3 bedroom house in this area will cost 350,000 – 450,000. Of course, a few blocks away (in all directions) is Cerritos, CA. In this fair city you can not touch a house for less then 500,000, and if you want a nicer house, you can figure on 800,000 plus.

Remember that this is not Beverly Hills, it is not even a beach or coastal area. This is just an average city in SoCal.

So whatever, if all these other people that are buying these houses can afford it then I should be able too as well right? I mean, I make good money. More then the average family anyway. Yet when I do calculations, based on income alone, about what I can afford, the most I can top out at is 265,000. So that puts me into the Norwalk one-ways, where my house would be a constant feature on the 6 o’clock news. Pass.

So what now? Who knows. I guess I will just keep looking, and hope my good rent situation does not take a nose-dive anytime soon.