No matter how long, or short the “wait” is, I think it is brutal for those who are waiting. It gets even more brutal though, when the wait is something more of an enigma and this growing monster that makes you wonder if it will ever end.
Those of us who are waiting, meaning that you are LID and have nothing else to do but wait for the referral, are learning tough lessons about patience and disappointment. A lot of us, especially those of us who are in the June LID group, originally anticipated a 6 month or so wait. That means, that we would have been nearing a referral right now.
We are 5 months into the wait. AS it stands now, we still have another 12 months to wait. Not only is that twice what we thought it would be, but added to the 5 we have already waited it is 3 tiimes. A lot of the “waiting” parents get very upset about this. Not me though.
Don’t misunderstand. I can not even wait to go get my daughter and have her be a daily part of our life. I am not upset though, because I know when the time comes and I look into the eyes of the beautiful little girl who is now going to know me as Daddy, I will know that this wait helped bring us together.
It also makes this all seem a little more like pregnancy. A part of pregnancy and birth is chance. You conceive a child, and everything about that child, even the sex, is determined at the moment of conception. So for us, we have a more “sterile” and methodic process that we go through, but the varying wait times make it seem a little more chancy. I am not sure “chancy” is a word, but whatever.
I am SO wanting my daughter right now… I yearn for her, I imagine the time we will spend together, I see the smile on her face when I walk through the front door, I dream about going to the park, and to Disneyland, and having our freinds and family fawn over her, and realizing each and every day that she is my precious one, my baby, my little girl, my beloved one…
Of course, until then, I can wait, because I know that my precious one is out there, and that when the time comes, and they put that little girl into my arms that all this time spent waiting, and hoping and dreaming will have all been worth it, and I won’t even remember it.