The easy way?
So the other day, a work associate told me that Laura and I are having kids “the easy way”.. What made the statement more humorous to me is that this was a man… I thought to myself, “In what way is conception and pregnancy hard for you ?” Now if a woman had said it to me, then I may not have thought too much about it.
However, let me state for the record that adoption is NOT the easy way to have kids. In fact, it is my belief that this is the most difficult emotionally draining process that I have ever gone through.
When we decided to start the adoption process, the standard wait time was 6 months from LID to Referral. Now, let’s for one moment pretend that a 6 month wait time was not a thing of the past. Even with a short 6 month wait, you are looking at about 6 - 9 months of paper chasing BEFORE you can even think about sending in your paper work, so a “normal” China adoption will take at least 12 months. Pregnancy is a 9 month (generally) process.
Now, believe me, I am not saying that pregnancy is easy either. My point is that since both process are intensive and both process take a long time, and both processes can wreck all sorts of emotional turmoil on the prospective parents, couldn’t we all just say that both are endeavors of love that take thier toll, and make the day that you get your child that much more special?
This comment is made all the more difficult to hear since we do not have a 6 month wait.. No good reader, we are, as of today, officially 7 months into our wait. So does that mean that we will hear any day now about our child? No. Right now the CCAA has been able to process up to September 27, 2005. We are June 27,2006. That means there are another 9 months ahead of us, full of people who are also waiting for a child. So we are anticipating at least another 12 - 18 months before we can even think about a referral.
This is all part of the process though, hurry up and file, and then wait… and wait… and wait… We know that the CCAA is doing thier best to meet the needs of an incredible increase in the number of dossiers being sent over, and so we patiently await the time we will be united with our daughter … Is it easy? NO… It is worth it.. ABSOLUTELY…
February 2nd, 2007 at 12:28 pm
Stephen & Laura,
I was searching for adoption blogs today and came across yours. Yours stood out because I noticed your DTC was 27 June 2006. My wife and I are also adopting from China and our DTC was the end of June as well. I would like to wish both well with your wait and who knows maybe we’ll be traveling around the same time. Check out our blog, it’s posted above.
Chris Ezzelle
February 2nd, 2007 at 12:30 pm
http://ezzelleadoption.blogspot.com
website didn’t make it into my original comment.
Chris
February 4th, 2007 at 4:06 pm
As a mom of 3 bio kids, all very tough pregnancies and delivered by C-section, and now expecting our TA for our 4th from China…I can say without one tinge of doubt…that the adoption process is MUCH more emotionally draining!!
February 22nd, 2007 at 3:47 pm
Hang in there bud! When I was running marathons I just kept thinking to myself ‘just make it to the next water station’ (they have one every mile) and before I knew it I was there. So keep focusing on the milestones, you will get there!
February 26th, 2007 at 6:09 pm
We are in totally the same situation! We started the process in June 04 and then didn’t have all the paperwork together ’til June ‘05 (our DTC date is June 30, 2005). So when we first decided to adopt it was only a 6 month wait - but then when we finally got all our paperwork done it was 12 months. I kept thinking it would go down - not reach 17 months! Ugh. We are so torn about what to do. I wish the best for you, and maybe we’ll be traveling together! We’re with Holt, btw…
Trisha (in MD)