July 16th, 2007

For the past few weeks we (June 2006 LID’s) have been in what is called “The Review Room”. This is where the CCAA goes through the dossier, officially, and makes sure that all the paperwork is in order and that you qualify under China’s guidelines to be an adoptive parent. May went through very very quick which is nice, and makes me feel a little more optimistic about the process speeding up a little. I have heard from a few people that have an LID of a few days before us that they have already received questions on thier dossier. That means that they are moving through June fairly quickly too.. Yay!!..

With the review room, the old adage, no news is good news, really hits home. Anyone of three things can happen with the review room.

1. Questions are submitted to your agency in regards your dossier, and updated information is requested. Anything from medical issues, to re-writing your cover letter to include specific wording. This is not necessarily a bad thing. It just means that clarification is needed.

2. The CCAA can reject your dossier all together. If this is going to happen at all through the process. This is when it is going to happen. While it is in the review room. You can be rejected for any number of reasons, some that don’t even have anything to do with your ability to parent a child. This is a standard part of the adoptive process, no matter what country you adopt from.
3. You could hear nothing. If your paperwork is in order, and they are happy with your dossier, then it is simply put in the line for a referral.

Obviously we are hoping for line item number 3. We don’t have any concerns that our paperwork won’t be accepted, or that anything out of order, primarily because of our Agency. They are sticklers about the paperwork and they jump through many many hoops to make sure that all is in order.

So… I am now checking on a regular basis for the update on the CCAA site that says :

???????2006?6?30???????????.

or in english…

The CCAA has finished the review of the adoption application documents registered with our office before June 30, 2006.

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Posted in Adoption, Paper Chase, The Wait |
June 15th, 2007

Nothing… very literally. At least in connection with the adoption, so there is nothing new to report… China has slowed down on the referral process, or at least fewer days are being processed. I imagine they are processing the same number of dossier’s, but with so many to get through they are not getting through too many LID’s…

We are still trudging away on the backyard. We are nearing completion and hopefully will be enjoying garden parties under the twinkle of the lights. ;)

We may have adoption news soon, but will wait to post anything definitive on that just yet.

So — just wanted to let everyone know we are still alive and kicking, but just haven’t had much to report.

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Posted in Personal, The Wait |
April 9th, 2007

This latest Disney / Pixar movie has created quite a stir in the adoption community.. lots of people who like/love the movie and others that are offended by the messages portrayed in the movie.  Personally, I liked the movie.

Bear in mind, I have not completed our adoption and I am not a parent, so I would not purport to tell you how you should feel about the movie, or how you should handle your adopted child seeing the movie.

A few things about the movie.

1.  Orphanages are no longer a part of American culture.. At least I have never seen one, so this is a bit of a misnomer through-out the movie.. However, movies have historically painted orphans in orphanages, so I am not sure that is too big a deal.

2. Many of the adoptive parents that have an issue with this movie, have an issue because they have the mistaken notion that Louis (the main character) builds a time-machine to go back and see his mom.  HOWEVER, this is not true. It was never Louis intention to build a time-machine.  He invents a device that read the hippo campus (memory center of the brain) so that he can remember what his mom looks like since he knows that he saw her originally as a baby.  The time-machine comes from the future from two other characters and that is when he gets the idea that he can just go back and see him mom.
3. Most of the movie is NOT about him finding his mother.  Most of the movie is about the future kid trying to restore the time-line properly, while the bad guy continues to try to steal Louis’ memory recall invention. The underlying promise to take Louis back to see his mom is carried through the movie. I will get back to this in a bit.

4. Overall I think  this is not the most impressive Disney movie, and the story was stretched and at times there was WAY too much going on.  It is a good movie though and I was happy with the way that adoption is presented and I think that the final message was good.

What I got from this movie was that Louis wanted a family, and ultimately wanted to be with his biological mother.  This is a typical response for adopted children – especially US adopted children.  However, what Louis learns through the movie is that your family is who you make your family.  The collection of people who form the Robinson’s are ultimately together because they want to be, and not just because they are relatives.  In fact, at the end of the movie (SPOILER ALERT) Louis has the opportunity to speak with and possibly stop her from abandoning him.  He doesn’t though.  He backs away and let’s her abandon him, maybe realizing that she is no longer the most important aspect of his life, knowing that this other family has accepted him, and love him.

In the eyes of an adopted child, old enough to understand the themes presented, I can definitely see how this would be a tough movie to watch, and maybe they would not find the same message.  So there is definite need for caution and I think that you should watch this with your child.

I promise this will not become a movie review blog.. I just really wanted to ramble about this movie for a few minutes… ;)

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Posted in Adoption, Personal |
March 14th, 2007

So several months ago we started rebuilding our backyard… When we moved into the house our backyard was half dead grass and half dirt. So I tore out all the old grass and installed a cool sprinkler system, dug out a 15×15 area to put down a paver patio, and then we were going to re-sod the whole back yard, put in some nice plants around the wall area and then also have a couple of small trees put in.

So we got grass out , and tilled the backyard, and got the sprinkler system done and installed (which if I do say so myself is very very impressive system… 2 valve 9 head system that perfectly covers the backyard and doesn’t touch the patio..).

Then something prevented us from continuing… Life.. LOL I just got SOOOO busy that i never had the time to get back there.. so my perfectly nice tilled backyard turned into a weed forest.. again…

Last weekend, I FINALLY, got around to going to home depot for the round-up and a fresh line for my weed whacker and went at it… 4 hours later.. I had made my mark… Most of the weeds are gone, the rest are dying..

This weekend I will be able to go back and finish up the weed massacre and hopefully start moving the dirt around again so I can get the ground ready for the sod… March 31 is my self set dead line. I want to be done with this then….

Hopefully.

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Posted in Personal, The Wait |
February 27th, 2007

I know that I will be asked this question sometime during the life of my child.

I hope that when the question is asked I have the composure and ability to answer the question as well as it was on “Heroes” last night.  If you don’t watch the show, I won’t bore you with character and plot description, but suffice to say it is a great show.  Anyway, Claire asks her adoptive father (who didn’t want her initially, but was forced into the adoption by the “company”) who her “real” parents are..

He says:

“We are your real parents.  We don’t know who you’re biological parents are.  You may not have grown in your mother’s belly, but you grew in both of our hearts.”.

I thought that was a great response. Especially considering it came from Hollywood, who is notorious for fouling this particular topic up..

SO, I add more item in which Heroes desrves kudos for.  They have dealt with Claire’s adoption and how she deals with it VERY well.

The lesson?  If you see an adoptive couple with a child, what question should you never ever ask ?

“Who are her/his real parents?”   First off, if you need to ask that question, it is not likely any of your business… Secondly, you are looking at her/his real parents..

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Posted in Adoption |
January 27th, 2007

So the other day, a work associate told me that Laura and I are having kids “the easy way”.. What made the statement more humorous to me is that this was a man… I thought to myself, “In what way is conception and pregnancy hard for you ?” Now if a woman had said it to me, then I may not have thought too much about it.

However, let me state for the record that adoption is NOT the easy way to have kids. In fact, it is my belief that this is the most difficult emotionally draining process that I have ever gone through.

When we decided to start the adoption process, the standard wait time was 6 months from LID to Referral. Now, let’s for one moment pretend that a 6 month wait time was not a thing of the past. Even with a short 6 month wait, you are looking at about 6 – 9 months of paper chasing BEFORE you can even think about sending in your paper work, so a “normal” China adoption will take at least 12 months. Pregnancy is a 9 month (generally) process.

Now, believe me, I am not saying that pregnancy is easy either. My point is that since both process are intensive and both process take a long time, and both processes can wreck all sorts of emotional turmoil on the prospective parents, couldn’t we all just say that both are endeavors of love that take thier toll, and make the day that you get your child that much more special?

This comment is made all the more difficult to hear since we do not have a 6 month wait.. No good reader, we are, as of today, officially 7 months into our wait. So does that mean that we will hear any day now about our child? No. Right now the CCAA has been able to process up to September 27, 2005. We are June 27,2006. That means there are another 9 months ahead of us, full of people who are also waiting for a child. So we are anticipating at least another 12 – 18 months before we can even think about a referral.

This is all part of the process though, hurry up and file, and then wait… and wait… and wait… We know that the CCAA is doing thier best to meet the needs of an incredible increase in the number of dossiers being sent over, and so we patiently await the time we will be united with our daughter … Is it easy? NO… It is worth it.. ABSOLUTELY…

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Posted in Adoption, The Wait |
January 23rd, 2007

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First is Laura and I on the second formal night.  My hand looks huge in this picture… it is not that big.. LOL

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This is Laura’s Turtle… so small and cute…

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They had a race to see which turtle would make it to the ocean first… Laura’s didn’t win, but we thought he had a better chance of survival since he seemed to be the only one that knew what he was supposed to do when he got to the water…

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Side view of the boat we were on… These things are really really big..

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And finally the Joseph Filipow Trio.. My brother, who took all the above pictures (except the formal shot), did this on the boat for them..

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Posted in Adoption, Personal, Photos, The Wait |
January 23rd, 2007

Well, my grand plan of blogging the cruise died a quick death… LOL  We just were having too much fun, and while Carnival’s Wi-Fi access is great on the boat, the speed of the connection leaves MUCH to be desired.

So Anyway, we had a blast.  Acapulco was just OK, but we never expect much from that port.  Acapulco is a great place if you love getting completely trashed and going from bar to bar finding excitement, and that is really not our scene.  We are way too laid back for that.  So we wandered around the city for awhile and found this really nice outdoor restaurant and had some lunch.. They were mostly a seafood joint, but there were very few tourists in the place, always a good sign, and we got stared at for some time. :)   However we did get sat next to Andres Garcia who is apparently very famous in Mexico, and my brother recognized him… I had no idea, but it will still cool..

The next day we were off to Zihuatanejo / Ixtapa.  They are one port, but two cities.  This is BY FAR our favorite port.  For a few reasons.  The shopping here is much better and there are A LOT less of the street people who are constantly trying to sell you chiclets and other sundries… The shopping is more along the line of handcrafts and leather, and clothing as well.  Acapulco is all silver and jewelry shops.. Pass.   The other great thing about this stop was Bandido’s.  This is a great little restaurant that we always go to when we are in town.  They have a patio dining area, and flat screens for the game, and the best mexican food.  This time I even got a shirt. ;)   I think the best part about this port is a small little beach, which we didn’t get to this time, that you have to take a boat to get to.. We stopped there the last time and just sat on the beach restaurant and drank 50 cent cervasas and ate the finest guacamole you have ever tasted…  This time we spent soo much time wandering the city that we were all just to tired to go over there, so I guess we will have to wait till next time.

We weren’t really expecting anything from Manzanillo this time either, since the last time was a major dissapointment.  Manzanillo is another excursion port.  In other words, if you don’t have excursion on this port, stay on the boat… The downtown is filthy and the shopping is sad and pathetic.  So we were not planning to get off the boat, but Laura want to do an excursion called “The Cuyutlan Turtle Experience”.  I HIGHLY recommend this tour… It was really really cool.  You get driven out to this turtle sanctuary in Cuyutlan and they give you a small education on the sea turtles, which ones are endangored and which ones aren’t, and then show you where they are incubating and hatching sea turtles.  You also get to see several different varieties of turtles at various ages… the little baby ones are hilarious.  Then you go down to the beach, where they have a few people get to release baby turtles. (not everyone in the group gets to do it, and if you want to DON’T put on sunscreen sinec you can’t touch the turtles if you have sunscreen on).  Laura got to do it and it was quite an experience for her… I have a picture, on my other computer, that I will get posted in the next couple of days.

After that they take you on a boat for about a half hour through a lagoon that is just busting with wildlife.. all sorts of birds, alligators, and Iguana’s, and beautiful scenery.  It was very relazing and cool too see.  Then they drive you out to a small village where there are few resorts and you get a free lunch (very tasty) and they let you just chill at the beach for a couple of hours… The water is so warm, it is like getting into a bath.   You can do a little shopping here too, and the vendors are much more respectful of your space and leave you alone unless you want to buy something.

All in all it was a great day, and much more then I expected from Manzanillo…

The last two sea days, were all about relaxing.  We played card during the day and sat in the lounges at night and listened to a great Jazz Trio called the Joseph Filipow Trio.  They were very very good, and my brother, being a musician, was enthralled by them.. Especially the bass player since he played a seven string bass.. If you don’t know why that is impressive, just know that it is.  I felt like they were wasted though by Carnival… The other entertainment on the ship was WAY sub par and they were FANTASTIC, yet they had the worst spot on the ship and it made it difficult to truly appreciate the talent.  They apparently don’t have a website… otherwise I would link to it…
Overall the trip was fun and relaxing and it has been difficult to readjust to normal life… I am still waiting for the towel animal on my bed, and no one has offered me a 5 course, 5 star meal yet… hmmm…

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Posted in Personal, The Wait |
January 13th, 2007

OK.. I know what your thinking… what happened to day three..  Well we were just having too much fun last night for me to take the time..  I figure that will happen tonight too since we are stopping in Acapulco in about 2 hours… The weather is hot hot hot… The sun is shining down and we are going to be cruising the streets of Acapulco
very soon..

Yesterday I did some laundry (got to stay clean), read for a few hours on the balcony of our stateroom, slept, and then after dinner we went out to the fantail bar (on the back end of the ship) and had some beer and good times.  The bartenders were hilarious, and we had an especially good time with Blake who is from St. Vincent.

So, today is shopping, walking, and great Mexican food… and probably some cervesas …

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Posted in Personal, The Wait |
January 11th, 2007

I woke up this morning, on my own, just before the sun came up… went up to the lido deck with my mac, checked my email as the sun came up over the ocean.. very beautiful…

After breakfast, found the gym and got my exercise on while the boat rocked… the eliptical machine is much more interesting when the ship is rocking back and forth… LOL

This afternoon I conquered the waterslide…  The spirit has a really cool really high water slide.  It is pretty much the highet point on the entire ship and is a bit scary when you are up there, but you really get flying on it..

Here is a picture i found online .

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The water slide is on the back side… CRAZY!!!

Tonight is formal night, so I am going to be all gussied up while we eat…

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Posted in Personal, The Wait |