The best analogy I’ve ever heard for trying to adopt is like trying to find someone to date. You want them to like you. You want them to give you a chance. You really don’t want to mess this up because maybe this is the <gasp> ONE!
Unfortunately, we are terrible at this. We only managed to find each other through a great deal of very blessed fortune.
They always say just be yourself, right? “Just be you.” But what if they don’t like me!? “Then they probably aren’t the right one for you.” But I want them to be the right one, so badly!
Yup, that’s us. And if you are still reading, if you haven’t had something come up and left the restaurant, then maybe, just maybe, we are the ones for you.
Okay, now that that awkwardness is out of the way, let’s start properly.
We are parents. “Don’t you mean you want to be parents?” No, we ARE parents. We just don’t have any kids yet. “Uh, don’t you need to have kids to be parents?” Well, Jimmy, that isn’t exactly true. Let’s ask Mr. Owl about it. Excuse me, Mr. Owl? Mr. Owl: “I only answer questions about candy.” Thanks anyway, Mr. Owl. Okay, Jimmy, how about I try to explain this. “Yes, please do.” Sometimes, people just ARE things, even if they don’t technically meet the all of the literal requirements of those things. If a boat has a hole in it, isn’t it still a boat? “Yes.” Okay, we are like that boat. But instead of a boat, we are parents. And instead of being unable to float, we don’t have kids.
Okay, now that we are done with the PSA explaining why we ARE parents without children how about we introduce ourselves.
Craig is from Montana and is the second youngest in a family with six children. He has a BS in Information Technology and works as a Java Developer/Programmer for a highly successful regional banking corporation. He likes being a parent, Karalene, studying Italian, being a favorite son/son-in-law/uncle/brother/guy at the burger joint. He also enjoys playing games (board, video, etc. but not mind games), watching movies, and of course spending time with family.
Karalene is also from Montana and is the oldest in a family with five children. She is an aspiring writer and works as an airline telephone reservationist mainly for the travel benefits. She likes being a parent, Craig, writing, taking care of others, being a favorite daughter/daughter-in-law/aunt/sister/girl at the burger joint. She also enjoys playing games (sans the mind games), watching movies, and of course spending time with family. She also likes to drink virgin Piña coladas on the beach.
Craig and Karalene have a lot in common, don’t they? Oh, they also like to visit amusement parks.
Maybe instead of a date, this is more like a job interview. Aren’t you looking to choose someone to do the most important job in the world – raise a child?
“So what is your greatest weakness?”
Writing adoption profiles. I’ve done it over and over again and am never happy with the results. We also work too hard and are too honest. (Sure, sure…)
“Do you have any references?”
Oh most definitely. It might seem a little morbid, but several of our siblings with kids have asked us to be guardians of their children in the unfortunate event that they died (our siblings, not the kids, of course). We think that says a lot about how people who know us very well feel about our ability to be parents. In a way, we’ve already passed this interview with them, but they aren’t currently hiring.
“Okay, what about experience?”
Isn’t that just the Catch-22 of this? You need to have experience to get the job, but you have to get the job to have experience. However, being the oldest in her family, Karalene has been (and still is) called upon to babysit her siblings and her siblings kids since she was eight years old. Additionally, Craig and Karalene have taken nieces and nephews on a variety of trips and all of them were returned in as good, if not better condition, than when they left (although maybe a little tired… visiting Harry Potter World in Orlando can be exhausting!). Additionally, we have been in charge of the nursery at our church, cub scout leaders, children’s Sunday school teachers, and been in leadership positions for teenagers at our church as well.
“You seem a little goofy.”
Guilty as charged. We take our goofiness very seriously.
BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!!!!
Not only do you get this wild and craaazzy guy and girl, but if you order now (or later) they come with an amazing extended family!
Your child will instantly have 22 COUSINS! Ranging in age from 1 to 17 years old, your child will never wonder what it’s like to have a cousin! And that’s only counting the FIRST cousins. With our complimentary extended cousins package, your child (and you, if you want to come) will attend our annual family reunion, with an attendance of more than 300 cousins every year! Kids love to build boats, go on the “hobo” hike, and play with cousins while camping in the shadow of the magnificent Grand Teton mountain range! Contact our representatives now for more details! ACT NOW!
Seriously though, we have a lot of family that gets along really well.
Okay, you’ve made it this far. You probably deserve some real seriousness.
We have been planning to be parents our whole lives. Karalene has boxes of baby clothes that are old enough to have gone in and out of style several times. We plan vacations for us and our kids. We have been planning to adopt since before we knew we had any fertility problems. It has been ten years since we lost our first two children to miscarriages. Ten frustratingly infertile years. Four of those years, we have been trying to adopt. We know we aren’t the right parents for every child. Maybe not even for yours. But, despite our goofiness, maybe we are the right parents for your child. Maybe.
If you have any questions or would like to arrange a face-to-face meeting, please feel free to email us at firstname.lastname@example.org .
Craig & Karalene