If you couldn’t tell by the title of this post, we are done. What does that mean exactly? It means we are done with all the things necessary to de able to be chosen by birth parents to adopt. Our profile can be seen on www.itsaboutlove.org.
Adoption Profiles on ItsAboutLove.org
The easiest thing to compare adopting to is online dating. No, seriously. We have an adoption profile that looks a lot like what I imagine a dating profile would look like. At one of our trainings, on couple described meeting the birth mother just like a first date. “I hope she likes us” “Do you think I over did it?” “Will she want me to kiss her at the end of the night?”. Okay, hopefully not that last one. If that one comes up, you have some other problems to deal with. On ItsAboutLove.org, all the profiles are publicly visible if you access the site as a guest.
You can search through the profiles of couples hoping to adopt through LDS Family Services and sort them by a different of criteria. One of them is based on the length of time the couple has been waiting to adopt. I think I went through 52 profiles before I got anything longer than a month and 810 couples total.
Now, I really don’t think it is appropriate to think of the other couples as competition, but is a little daunting to think there are so many couples being added all the time. It helps that I remember seeing about 800 when we first started the process. That means if there are 50 being added every month, then about 50 adoptions are taking place every month as well.
I feel bad for the couples who have been waiting the longest. The longest has been waiting for over 9 years! But then I feel less bad for them when I notice they all already had kids. I still feel bad because I know their families are still incomplete. However, it wasn’t long before I came across couples who had been waiting for five years and had no children . So I reprioritized more of sympathy toward them.
I noticed there was a way to search for couples with no children at all. I was a little surprised that of the 810, only 272 had no children. Of the remaining couples 325 have one child, 168 with two children, and 45 with three or more. I am in no way saying that I think these families are any less special or less deserving than us. I was just surprised by some of the numbers.
What really surprised me were how many couples with three or more have only been waiting a few months. This surprises me because we were told LDS Family Services had to change the rules to allow only couples with fewer than two children to adopt, with any who had already started the process being grandfathered in. I guess these families must have started the process a while ago and only recently got posted, or maybe they put things on hold to have a biological child (although this is an appropriate term, it makes me feel like I am implying the child is somehow more scientific in nature). Again, this observation is not meant to be negative in anyway, just surprising.
ANYWAY (I get on tangents a lot and “ANYWAY” is my converstational cue that I am going to try and get back on track)
So What Now?
So we are super excited to be at this point in the whole process. Adoption has changed a lot over the past few years (You can read about some of on “Looking for our Baby”) and so now we need to do what we can to find our baby. That is one of the main purposes of this blog. We need to get the word out to friends and family. We need to FIND OUR BABY!!! (For some reason I can picture Sally Field saying that and winning an award for it).