Yup. That’s me. Feeding a baby. My foster baby.
Yup. That’s me. Feeding a baby. My foster baby.
So although we have been licensed as foster parents for a few weeks, we weren’t really considered for placements until after we meet with our caseworker (our RFC for those in know).
We met with her on Monday and it was quite a week.
I’m going to take a break this week from the traditional adoption vs fostering to adopt posts I have been doing.
I am also going to start off with a confession. We weren’t contacted by a birth mother. We were contacted by TWO. On Thursday we received notification that our home is now licensed for foster care. And then yesterday we were contacted by someone who wasn’t a birth mother about another adoption. We still need some more details on that one, but all this combined with looking at adoption exchanges the last week as made me realize something.
MY HOUSE IS TOO SMALL!!!!
I am so very grateful for the love and support shown by friends and family in the comments when I shared my last post on Facebook. Something that became clear to me however is that I left folks with the impression that we weren’t sure which option to choose. While that is true we will have to make that decision, it isn’t going to be now.
We are choosing BOTH for now. The hard decision is when once a child is going to be placed in our home. And really it may turn out we don’t really have a choice in the matter.
After five years of feeling like we had so little progress in traditional adoption, we decided pursue something we had always wanted to do after we had already started our family, i.e. become foster parents with the goal of adopting.
But now, seemingly out of the blue, we have been contacted by a birth mother. Coincidentally, this happened right around the time we were finalizing our foster care licensing. Will the adoption work out? We have no idea. But the timing of all of this is leading to some very difficult decisions. As a result of such, I thought it would be good to do a series of blog posts about some of the differences between traditional adoption and adoption through foster care.
Friends! It seems like 2012 AND 2013 went by so fast. While we were busy living life we realized that we didn’t devote too much attention to our blog. We are working to change that and will have some new posts this month so please check back.
As I have read through the posts that we have shared the one that continues to have a special place in my heart is one that Craig posted. It has a wonderful message and I feel is worth sharing again at the following link:
I hope you will take a brief moment to view this video. Many happy wishes to you and yours this coming year. May your lives be blessed and may you find joy in the journey.
February was a good month for us. After weeks of studying Craig passed his Microsoft Certification Test! He also finished up his Capstone Project. Now finished with his Bachelors he was able to set aside his schooling for a season, trading in nights and weekends of endless study for a job promotion and raise and some much needed family and down time. I finished up my last few weeks of on the job training at the JetBlue Center allowing me to transition from working full-time at the center to being able to work part-time in my home office. Now that we were officially “grown-ups” [Keep in mind I we say this every time we transition into another phase of our lives – at this rate we will be young FOREVER!] we decided to upgrade our very outdated appliances.
With more time open Craig was able to devote more time to his church responsibilities and family and we continued to prepare for baby – working to get our online adoption profile ready. Adoption has changed a lot over the years. Instead of going home to wait for a baby we were told to start preparing a plan for finding our baby. I love that we can keep ourselves busy and be an active part in finding the rest of our family instead of just waiting for them to come to us.
2012 came and went so fast! I will be attempting to catch up some of our adventures and post some pictures.
To start this I should probably back up a couple of months. October 2011 .. a busy month. While seeing fertility specialists to determine why we still unsuccessful at having children, we felt very strongly that we needed to start the adoption process. We spoke with a caseworker at LDSFS and determined that they were the right option for us to start the process. We attended a very educational weekend of adoption panels and heard life accounts from Birth Mothers and Fathers, Adoptive Couples and grown adopted children. It was amazing to us to find out just how many people’s lives have been blessed through adoption. We met with our caseworker again and received our binder of information to read and our checklists of state required forms to start on. They said it can take months to put together all of the paperwork and references but I felt a need to accomplish the majority of it before the holidays. It was a good feeling to have the bulk of our paperwork turned in before we headed out to Montana for Christmas.
I had applied for a job at JetBlue Airways. After several interviews and weeks of waiting I got a callback to let me know I could start work two days after Christmas! So, with a wonderful Montana Christmas we hurried back home so I could start. Four weeks later I graduated from JetBlue University training as a Reservation Specialist. It does come with some amazing perks, namely travel benefits and the flexibility of being able to work from my home office. Craig was working hard to finish up his last semester of school at Western Governor’s bringing his total credit load to 32 credits this semester! We were both anxiously awaiting opening up a new chapter of life after school.
It is hard to believe just how quickly 2012 went by. As I have looked back I feel like we were just making New Year resolutions for 2012 and then there we were at 2013 … and now here it is May! 2012 was full of love and laughter and adventures. I am so grateful for my dear Craig for keeping up on our blog when he can. I share his blogging thoughts – sometimes it IS so hard to write blog posts. It isn’t just a matter of sitting down and writing about the most resent news in our world – although it should be, shouldn’t it? What starts out as the simplicity of sharing a story turns to facing the reasons behind our decision to adopt – confronting infertility and the emotions that go with it. Even though we haven’t found our baby yet, we are full of hope for the thought of being able to find the members of our family through adoption. We know so many people whose lives’ have been affected for good through adoption. We are thankful for the birth mothers and birth fathers and for the love they have for their children to place them with loving couples who can provide them with every opportunity they would want them to have.
There are a lot of misconceptions that get linked with the adoption process. What we have found that there is an untrue belief that birth mothers and birth fathers don’t love their children – that they are “giving them up” for adoption because they don’t want them. Birth parents love their children – they want them. They also want to be able to provide the best life for their child . The love they have for their child and the sincere desire to place their child in a home with a loving couple who can provide the “best life” often trumps the desire to give them a “good enough life”. I don’t know of one birth parent who has said it was an easy decision for them to do – quite the opposite. Most say it was the hardest thing they have ever had to do. They think of that child every day of the rest of their lives, but because they love their child and wanted a better life for them, they were able to make that decision.
Their choice doesn’t just affect them or the child. That child has grandparents, aunts & uncles and cousins before placement and gains a whole bunch more after. Children placed through adoption have to be the most loved children in the world! 🙂 And all because of a birth parents decision of love. It creates a ripple effect impacting individuals, families and generations. My heart is full of gratitude for birth mothers and birth fathers and for the selfless sacrifice they make for their children.
If you don’t read the post, at least watch this video: http://forwardwalking.com/2013/04/15/placing-a-child-for-adoption-a-birth-mothers-story/